|
A break up does not put an end to the world. Sure, sometimes it feels as if everything you worked for is gone and that the beliefs you held sacred have failed you. You might challenge your belief in God, deny your faith in true love, shake your fist fate. However, also a big feeling upheaval an old proverb goes, “You can not let some omelet without breaking eggs.”
One world may end with a divorce. Certainly there are many changes that go along with ending a marriage including changing your last name again if you’re female, obtaining separate housing, splitting up property and purchases, and deciding on custody if you have children or pets. Every time you need to make a choice it might seem like the end of the world. Keep in mind that your own birth was not easy for you or your mom but was worth it in the end. And in the end you become two separate beings instead of one. The end of marriage is same: it can be very long, pain, painful and to take all efforts, yourself also your husband/wife. After all there are two of you in the marriage but a split will make you individuals again.
For people whose marriages are far from what they hoped, divorce brings the opportunity to regroup, learn from previous mistakes, and assimilate new information. Even though the measures you are adopting presently to become a single person are not easy and often hurting, continue walking.
On the other side of this adventure is a new you, with new hopes, a more realistic and experienced viewpoint and a better grasp of self and the world. Is it scary? Of course it is. However, for M. Scott Peck, a breakthrough relationships psychologist said, “go out into the anonymous is always make afraid, but you know what is different only by a new adventure.” Since life is an adventure you have to go through some trial and error in the process. Treat this break up as an examination which you should clear in your own persona Hero’s journey
What about the proverbial baggage? Common perceptions of divorces include such images as people stuck in cyclic patterns who continuously replay the same hurtful scenarios over and over again, or people who take their hurt and anger from a previous partner out on their current partner. Certainly there is a grain of truth in these stereotypes.
How come it’s completely untrue? In your interpersonal relationship arsenal you have many tools and the relationship that just ended has provided you with even more insight and experience. We learn from our mistakes for future reference.
But be careful of overusing this new knowledge! The key to keeping yourself from becoming the epitome of the baggage stereotype is to use objectivity and cognitive compassion with the new insight. The difficult times you associate with divorce will be useful when you enter a new relationship. Watch out since it might be false.
A benefit from going through a separation or divorce will be the ability to judge circumstances more accurately. Therefore, it is this concept of grief and separation are not necessarily the same conclusion. Complete this book in your life, after that you can switch to the new one.
As the poet Anais Nin said, “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” Have a Happy blooming!
If you’d like more information, you can find out about my experience as an top divorce lawyer in Austin Texas. You can also request our Austin Divorce Guide Audio CD at www.TruslerLegal.com. If you need more specific information, you can review our FAQ’s about divorce in Austin Texas.
|
